feeling like we're not good enough

My friend and I were talking about how we often feel like we're not good enough, not smart enough, not knowledgeable enough, and how we're always doubting ourselves. Ever since I can remember, I have had a constant problem of feeling like I wasn't enough which led me to not doing things, which led me to nowhere. And now I'm starting to realize that many other people are in the same boat as me, and this isn't something I'm alone in. I'm also starting to realize that while I may not feel like I'm "good enough," I will never accomplish anything if I continue doing nothing. During my first month of blogging, I kept doubting myself.

But I realized that this is what has stopped me from accomplishing things in the past - thinking I'm not good enough at something because there's someone better out there. There is always going to be someone out there who is better than you at something. The solution is to not compare your beginning to their middle; they've probably been working towards their goals longer than you have, and besides that, everyone is on their own journey. We all have different short and long term goals and what we want to accomplish.

(It's a super lengthy post, we had a really long conversation about it.)

1. There will never be a perfect time to start. Most of us are always waiting until that perfect moment to come so we can start on our dreams or goals, but that moment will never come. Start anyway. You may be bad at it at first, but you keep going, you're going to be better and be glad you didn't give up. Most people give up halfway and/or when they realize it's going to be hard work and give into their fears and doubts, and that's why they weren't successful. Perfection doesn't exist.

2. Accept that you will never know everything about something. You don't have to be an expert on a subject to have an opinion; it's taken me so long to accept that, and I still struggle with it. But what we have to realize is that we are constantly growing, learning, and changing. No one knows everything from to back and every little detail about what they're talking about, and no one expects that out of you. Share what you do know because it may help someone and they will thank you for it.

3. Fear is normal. We are all afraid and want to make excuses to rationalize why we can't, instead of believing that we can. Instead of avoiding and running away from our fears, we should face it and learn to work with it. There's always going to be the failure - so what if you don't succeed at first? That doesn't make you a failure. It's not going to be the end of the world. Instead you will gain valuable insight and knowledge (and you can apply that knowledge later on) which will help you in the future.

4. Realize that not everyone will like you. Just because one person doesn't like you does not mean that everyone else you will ever meet will dislike you too. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there's still going to be someone who hates peaches”. – Dita Von Teese When you realize that it's not your job to please everyone you'll meet, you'll be happier and better off.

5. Think of 5 positive things you like about yourself. Are you good at baking? Do you like to volunteer? Are you really hard working? Are you always there for others when they need you? Whatever it is, be proud of that. Remember that you are your own person and there is no one else like you. "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."  – Oscar Wilde

6. Just do it. If you want to be a runner, start running 10 minutes a day and add to that as you go on. If you want to learn a new language, learn 10 new characters every day and soon you'll find that you can hold a conversation in that language. Everyone who is successful at what they're doing has had to start somewhere to get to where they are. So when in doubt, just start and you'll be surprised by how far you get.

* This post was inspired by my blogging experience so far; I had a lot of fears starting out about having a blog like what if my writing isn't good enough, what other people will think of me (and what if they don't like me), etc. but I realized that those things don't matter. What matters is that I enjoy blogging and would like to continue blogging and while I'm not going to be that great at blogging when I first start out, and I'm okay with that. Perfection doesn't exist, and I'm not going to let fear stop me from doing something I want to do. And you shouldn't let fear of feeling that you might not be good enough stop you either. (P.S. You are good enough. If no one has told you that recently, I'll be the one to tell you. You can accomplish whatever you put your mind and energy on. It'll take lots of time and effort, but you'll get there.I believe in you.)

• Has there ever been a time when you stopped doing something because you believed you weren't good enough? Did you regret not doing whatever that was?
• Do you have any additional advice or tips?

declutter your life // one place at a time

 (The space untouched isn't mine so I didn't clean it out.)

One day, my mom told me "Molly, don't end up like me with all this stuff. Throw away the stuff you don't want and only buy what you really need." And at the time, I knew it was really good advice. But I thought to myself "yeah, maybe I'll do that in the future" and over time I kept telling myself "well, maybe tomorrow." Maybe you've thought that yourself too. "I'll start doing this tomorrow." And then it's tomorrow, the next day, the day after that, and so on. And everything just keeps piling up until you finally hit that point where it's just like "I can't do this to myself anymore. I have to do something about it." It sure took me long enough, but it finally happened. I finally got overwhelmed by all the junk that was piling up in my life, and I knew I had to do something about it.

I'm a hoarder, not to the extent of some people, but I like keeping my stuff. But I threw out all these things I knew I didn't knew anymore like magazines I never read, books I would never use again, clothes I haven't worn in the past year, etc. It's hard to let things that have value to you go, but it's important to remember that you don't have a t-shirt to remind you that you once ran a marathon. You ran that marathon, and throwing away the t-shirt doesn't mean you throw the experience away.



So how would one go about decluttering? I've listed a few places in your home where you can start.You could sort through everything all at once, or take it one step at a time so it doesn't overwhelm you.

1. Your closet. The clothes that don't fit anymore? Yeah, you won't be wearing that any time soon. You don't need it, even if it has sentimental value. But you don't need a shirt to remind you that you ran that marathon once or that you were once apart of your high school book club. The clothes you haven't worn for the past three years? Yeah, you won't be needing that either. I'll be honest with you - the clothes I told myself I would wear five years ago were still there unworn and untouched, until I finally took the plunge and donated it. If you're on the fence about something, ask yourself how many times you've worn it.

2.  Your workspace. If you're in college like me, my advice is to rent your books. Or sell them after you're done using them. You know how your school constantly tells you that you can sell them for half of what you bought it for? Yeah, listen to them and do that. Because you probably won't ever need the book again, unless it relates to your major. Things clutter up quickly; your notebooks, your books, your notes, etc. Organize, organize, organize. Organization is key. Use a drawer file cabinet as a place to keep all the things you need (bills, important papers, etc.) You can thank me later. Keep only what you really need and throw out the rest, because you don't need it.

3. The living room. If you're like me, then you have a bunch of random stuff lying around too. I'm a crafty person, and when I want to start a new project (such as crochetting or making bracelets), I buy a bunch of supplies and maybe get into it for two months and then never touch it again. It's hard throwing away things you spent money on, but at some point, you have to realize that you're just creating a bigger mess to yourself. Do you know why people hate the process of moving? It's because they have so much stuff. Stuff that they don't need or use anymore.

4. The kitchen/fridge. I'm going to start off by saying that if an appliance is collecting dust, it's time to say goodbye. It's just taking up room, like all the other things in your home. I clean out my fridge on a regular basis now, but that stew that's been in your fridge for the past two weeks? Or that jar of mustard that's been there for over a year untouched? Yeah, time to throw those things out. In the future, you'll know what foods you like and don't like. (Don't buy the foods you don't like, because you would eat them. And you'll clutter up your space. Like I did for many years. Don't be like me, learn from my mistakes.)

5. Your computer. I can't even begin to imagine how many websites, blogs, articles, funny images, etc. I bookmarked over the years. How many times have I actually gone back to them? Probably somewhere less than 10. However, if you're nothing like me (and if that's the case - lucky you), you look at those things again. Keep them organized in folders. Folders are essential to everything in life; they are your key to organization. And like I've been saying throughout this whole post; if you don't need it, throw it out. (Reptition helps the mind remember, right?)

I hope decluttering your home has helped you in the same way that it's helped me. Tell me how your experience goes! Was it hard letting go of the things you've held on to for so long just for the sake of holding on to them? Do you feel better now that you have less things and more room? Do you notice any difference in your mood or energy levels?